Is Orlando Bloom’s Morning Routine Real, A Joke, or Patrick Bateman Role Research?
Celebrities sure love some morning routines. While the rest of us mournfully swallow our second cup of Keurig coffee, people like Mark Wahlberg have prayed, exercised, ate three meals, and played golf. The Rock has likely already cleared all of its cod population from the lake of a small New England town.
Earlier this week, however, we saw a fresh entry into the pantheon of ridiculous ultra-LA morning plans – this one from Carnival Row star Orlando Bloom, who recently gave the Sunday Times his usual start to the day.
After 20 minutes of “Buddhist singing” and reading “a little bit of Buddhism”, Bloom prefers to “earn” his breakfast. “So I just have a couple of green powders that I mix with brain octane oil, a collagen powder for my hair, and nails, and some good protein. “We assume that“ good protein ”refers to something like beans, considering how he later describes himself as“ 90 percent plant-based ”. Even so, he admits that he still allows himself “a really good piece of red meat” about once a month. So maybe it is referring to human flesh.
But we are here in front of us! After his Buddhist preparatory work, there is a hike with a soundtrack to Nirvana and / or Stone Temple pilots, followed by a prompt breakfast at 9 am, which consists of “porridge, some hazelnut milk, cinnamon, vanilla paste, hazelnuts, goji berries and a vegan protein Powder and a cup of PG tips. “
The story goes on
While some have suspected that Bloom’s “It’s all pretty much LA” during the interview contained indications of a minimum of self-esteem, please be separated from that thought by the following direct quote: “I have a contract with Amazon where I do work on projects exclusively for them. I spend a lot of time dreaming about roles for myself and others – for minorities and women. I try to be a voice for everyone. “
So there you have it, everyone. Is Orlando Bloom sincere in his Buddhist chants, goji berries and “really good” cuts of meat? Does he subtly ridicule the west coast’s cultural excess? Is one of his exclusive Amazon projects an American psychological remake, even if it is completely re-cast with “minorities and women”? Wouldn’t that contradict the message of the original story? If so, he’s not doing as good a job as its apparent successor in restarting Pirates of the Caribbean. Or … hmm …
Of course, there’s always the simplest explanation: Orlando Bloom is an LA-chic sociopath who starves for human flesh.
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